Friday, November 24, 2006

Constipated

Yeah, holy politicians they call themselves!
Hey ,they might be categorised as holy alright,
but that'll be the holy sh*t subtype of course.

12 comments:

David said...

Hey, did you ever watch Saturday Night Live when you lived in the U.S.? That was a really funny show! The cast members used to do fake commercials for fake products. One of these fake products was a special cereal called Super Colon Blow. It was for people who were dying of intestinal blockage, I guess! ;) One box of Super Colon Blow had the same laxative potential as 1000 boxes of regular wheat cereal!

So, how about this for a new sketch: A well dressed religious political leader eats the last bite from his bowl of cereal. He holds up his spoon and smiles. "Mmmmm, I just love Super Colon Blow! Back in the days when I and my friends were all riding donkeys, it was much easier to stay regular. But, for the past 27 years, since I began to ride in my Mercedes limousine, I have felt, well you know..." He holds up his hand next to his mouth and whispers conspiratorially, "Constipated". With a flourish of his silk robes, he lifts his box of Super Colon Blow, points to the title on the box, and exclaims,"Since I discovered Super Colon Blow, the change in my life has been like night and day! I just don't get that gassy bloated feeling anymore during a long session of Fatwa composition. Even my wife says that she has noticed a difference when we retire together in the evening." He gives the viewers a knowing wink. "Far less wind in the sails!", he loudly proclaims with a huge smile. "So my advice to you, and I make this a religious commandment (said with left hand over heart, right hand raised authoritatively), is to buy yourself at least two boxes of Super Colon Blow per week. The more Super Colon Blow that we all eat, will mean less Super Colon Blow for Great Satan's sons of dogs! So it is both your religious and patriotic duty to eat all the Super Colon Blow that I and my generous brothers of the cloth can provide to your neighborhood grocery! Eat Hearty!" Camera zooms on smiling face of benevolent Mullah. Comercial fades to black.

Dr O2 said...

hmmm... no chicks in the commercial? how abt the background music ;-)

What abt George? won't he be depressed for not having a role in our nu commercial??? ;-) After all his god-connections I say he deserves a minor part as well ;-)

David said...

Ok, you want chicks? How about three sexy Tehrani babes in full length hijab with black veils showing just the slightest hint of hair on their foreheads. They will stand far in the background and sing the Super Colon Blow jingle while dancing in syncronous rhythm. :)

What about George? Well, maybe he can appear in the Second commercial. He will be shown in full cowboy regalia (ten gallon hat and boots with spurs) shoveling a Texas size steak and baked potato into his mouth, all washed down with a huge jug of whiskey. He is such a sloppy eater, his chin is lost in steak sauce and half chewed chunks. But, he has two very sexy Dallas Cowboy's Cheerleaders dabbing either side of his chin with their bandanas. Commercial zooms in to a cut away of George's colon. There is a huge pulsating blockage that is nearing critical mass. The camera zooms back out, George lifts his ass from his seat and cuts a fart worthy of a hippopotamus gorged on a truck load of water lilly, then he burps like a Viking celebrating a week of rape and pillage with a barrel of the foulest grog. But, its too late, the blockage erupts and George is blown five ways from Sunday and the cheerleaders ignite in a blue methane conflagration. In the corner of the screen our well dressed Mullah pops up and shakes his finger reproachfully saying, "See what happens when you live lifestyle of Satan sidekick Bush? Death to Great Satan and Eat more Super Colon Blow!" In the opposite corner of the screen the three tiny hijabi chicks belt out the SCB jingle, wink, and blow kisses to the audience.

Orhan Kahn said...

Nothing like a good dose of laxatives.

Dr O2 said...

david the three girls you have introduced are only for the past ;-) you gotta see the new generation of heavily costumed to kill in-shape girls who weigh half what the scale might suggest without their make up & their scarf is just short of a mere joke when it comes to covering their perfectly dyed hair!! ;-) I am all ok with three Tehrani girls! That will do :-D But I doubt Mr. President would be all ok with their appearance though!!

P.S: If you've got Hotbird sattelite you can tune in to IMTV for a glimpse of how youngsters look like these days inside my country.

---

Orhan - I was thinking abt multiple dose to get rid of them ;-)

David said...

Actually, I have seen some pictures of fashionable young Tehrani women at other blogs. They are looking pretty good in their tight colorful coats and small colorful scarves! In the fake commercial, I was just making a joke about the political/religious establishment and how they have oppressed women. Maybe Mr. President needs a multiple dose! ;)

mariamusic said...

Isn't interesting to find out how "Bisa***yl" finds itselt in fashion show, So you guys what is it about it?

Dr O2 said...

david - I can still manage to find two or threee veiled ones if that is what is needed ;-)

Well how abt inviting Paris Hilton for the George commercial? That'ld be a torture of its own kind ;-)

Dr O2 said...

mariamusic - well it has paid off! I also use it from time to time to stay fit after an Iranian ceremony (mehmuni) ;-)

mariamusic said...

That was an interesting terminalogy Dr, O2.

Do wise kings use cons?

mariamusic.

Yabco said...

push to talk dr' u can use this term..."pushtology" it can releive all wts locked there;p hi again...peace

David said...

I wonder if they sell condoms in the Magic Kingdom? I think that Snow White might need some protection from the Seven Dwarfs! ;)

Check my new post and then give me your diagnosis. Maybe I have been hallucinating all these years!