Thursday, January 26, 2006

"Hey Bro; What's Your Blood Type?"

Dear brothers & sisters, let me proudly be the first to publicly announce that the humans are in minority to us vampires now. Keep soaking their blood people.

Warning: Do not forget to test your victims for HIV before-hand.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

The Bird Flew...

What’s wrong with these news agencies? Have they just come to notice Chicks can kill??

P.S: Guess Adam wouldn have considered this sth nu either!!


I don’t really care about the gender of the chicken I ate last night but can they please let us know the local spread of this bird flu thing so we can decide whether to die or keep trying to breathe on???


Why is everyone suddenly interested in the bird that flew!!??


Bird Flu clinical Features:

The incubation period for H5N1 avian influenza may be longer than that for normal seasonal influenza, which is around 2 to 3 days. Current data for H5N1 infection indicate an incubation period ranging from 2 to 8 days and possibly as long as 17 days. However, the possibility of multiple exposure to the virus makes it difficult to define the incubation period precisely. WHO currently recommends that an incubation period of 7 days be used for field investigations and the monitoring of patient contacts.

Initial symptoms include a high fever, usually with a temperature higher than 38oC, and influenza-like symptoms. Diarrhoea, vomiting, abdominal pain, chest pain, and bleeding from the nose and gums have also been reported as early symptoms in some patients.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

No Beans For You Boy...

Once there was a big small cosmopolitan village full of fools of every color. In the western side of the village lived G, a mighty self-merited above-sheriff who had been a notorious outlaw, legislating his every move through the guy named K who he himself had appointed as the sheriff. G pumped up money through his enormous bean-fields & the neighboring conserve factory he owned. He was against anyone (but the-exceptions) planting beans while he had made them so dependent to it. But apart all these, he had also developed the Bean-Fart-Killing (BFK) technology which he had tested on the ENEMY as he put it in the far eastern part of the village.

In the middle section of the village stood 3 ranches. They sat on goldmines yet not so fond of trading with G. They preferred to do business elsewhere unaware of the change of map G had dreamt for their region. First the house on the right was secured over their clear terrorist activities giving G the chance to build a stronghold in the region. Then came the house on the left belonging to mad-S who was also dealt with on the pretext of hiding the BFK G had sold him. Expectedly the goldmine was looted afterwards as the sheriff silently watched the scene.

But the third house in the middle sitting over the richest goldmine of the 3 had a different story receiving support from G’s foes. It belonged to a guy named M who was a fool like others in the village but spoke out what he’d come to think of. It was not the outflow of gold to the unknown that bothered G nor the hostility between M & A –G’s best friend- but the development of the tiny bean field M’s household was going through which G as the only one who had had the experience FEARED MIGHT lead to the development of BFK.

G had power, G had wealth & also the BFK technology. Firstly he equipped A with BFK. Then G trying to stop M from owning a bean field accused ugly M of trying to develop BFK & turned the village against him. M lost his temper & publicly announced his desire to fart upon A’s household & this led to …

At this point the story-teller feels intoxicated by the poisoned environment over the case trying to see what the outside world feels about the village.

P.S: The characters in the story are fake. Similarities of names & directions are to be ignored.

Monday, January 16, 2006

"Quality" has become dumb...

If quality talks for itself then why are the girls on the other side not noticing me but the teenager smoking his cigar in his dad’s BMW??

Well I don' really blame them. Just looking at that car induces orgasm for ALL in range...


I am in love with how QUALITY speaks for itself these days expressed in the clothes one puts on, the perfume they ware & the dream car they drive as a taxi to take the ones they attract, to the you-know-wheres….

"Hey "Quality" buddy, you gone dumb?? Speak to me man. oh my god he ain't breathing! Nurse! Check his pulse! Oh no! we are losing him..."


Conclusion: Perhaps Quality has come to know it's rights and won't speak a word till his lawyer arrives.

FAQ: Why???

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Reality Transfusion...

I remember life back in those days watching films in the black-&-white TV set at my grandpas while the world was full of boisterous colors. Now TV sets show us the extinct colors of life while life itself is in black & white!

...and then you remind me to take off the sunglasses I am trying on, as if the world would be any brighter if I lay down the shades I ware to deny being colorblind & stare at the not-so-shining sun.

" Oh doctor please help me out! I am beginning to see red rivers among these shades of black & white!"
" Hey son, we sometimes have the vision but it's nothing more than visual hallucinations. My advice for you is TO SHUT UP & DON'T EVEN TALK ABOUT IT."

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Help, I've Lost My Feathers...

Birds, feathers & the story of flocking together.

Well our race has got no feathers so perhaps the secret of flocking together is lost somewhere in between the lines. Perhaps for us humans it should be something like "People of the same tongue walk together" Or is it also "Obligations stick us together"?


P.S: It is probably much the same for birds as well. It ain't about appearance but the language we speak in.

Ah these “Sayings” of simplicity…

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

The Sensibility of Nonsense...

... a woman in Africa dies of hunger, the woman in the middle east fights for women's rights and far across the ocean, she is singing of her hump, her hump, her hump, her lovely little lumps! it's a miracle...