Sweet Hallucinations Of A Psycho

HIV is in the eyes of the beholder!

2011-05-17T18:00:00.001+04:30

Science has certainly lost its path! Perhaps it needs a GPS, or since it is totally illiterate or as some say even blinder than Love, I'ld suggest one of these guide dogs for the visually impaired and an extra cain so it might finally get somewhere!

So, like evermore people meet their doom due to contracting AIDS day after day & science is providing people with condoms, antivirals, blah blah blahs?? What ever happened to "prevention before cure" then?

Dear science, HELLLO!?? Osama was found after 10 years but HIV still evades you!? Maybe you are looking for it in realms of Afghanistan instead of Pakistan?? AIDS is not an STD, moron! it is simply a VTD!! you are searching for cure in the wrong territory!!

* VTD: Visually transmitted disease

Practice Test

2011-03-19T09:39:00.002+03:30

Those who cheat on tests,
will cheat on hearts.

Love is blind & MUTE

2010-10-07T10:31:00.002+03:30

When something builds up gradually, its existence becomes deniable. When you lose it suddenly, it is just like an arrow through your blind eyes. Love is one of those phenomenons for guys. You always deny it, till you lose your love. If only Love could talk...

Revolutionary Evolution

2010-08-27T17:59:00.003+04:30

If propehts were alive today, they would have been dead by night.

What if you are the crazy one here?

2010-08-18T19:07:00.000+04:30

Sometimes in life I feel like saying "Sometimes" in life and now is one those sometimes that I am having a "Sometimes" thought attack. Grrrr... sometimes I need to take my "Sometimes" prevention pills earlier.

Timetables kill relationships

2010-08-17T18:35:00.001+04:30

+ Come here, let's talk.
- No time for a shower afterward hon.

American Dream is 2nd best!

2010-08-11T10:58:00.003+04:30

Living the American Dream they say!
America is proud they have an African-American President
while elsewhere in the middle east
even retards like Ahmadinejad can become presidents.

My Teacher is An Alien

2010-08-06T15:56:00.003+04:30

I'll probably name my next "Based on a true story book"
"My President is a lame stand up comedian".

Heard Ahmadinejad has been heavily linked with a move to The Late Night Show.

If you are up there, save us Superman

2010-07-16T11:39:00.003+04:30

Faith is the most dangerous WMD.
The only weapon that can murder morals.

Shrek, Donkey & the Dragon?

2010-05-26T10:25:00.000+04:30

Some feminist groups have found the movie title "How to train your dragon" insulting.
Wonder why!!

iSob

2010-04-01T11:37:00.001+04:30

What detergent can wash away
tear stains from the eyes?

Outside our windows

2010-03-06T15:06:00.002+03:30

Drool.
The bees are starving,
& the flies are all full!

Make it or break it

2010-02-09T12:45:00.004+03:30

Had always had problems with
break ups
break ins
breakfasts even.
I guess they should recall the Toyota Me for break problems.

Ridiculously Miraculous

2010-01-28T16:18:00.005+03:30

On the same day Obama delivers a speech about empowering people more, increasing the clarity of government's spendings, actions and deals & asks for bipartisanship for the good of the country amid their deep differenes, the Iranian state TV aired a program where a delusive young cleric announced openly that people are all incapable of understanding what's best for them and therefore not entitled to choose their path. Concluding that, it's all for the supreme leader (not voted in office) to decide an that is the true meaning of the famous quote "It's people's votes tha counts"!

It's a mircle the monkey thought! He took his last poke of his last cigarrette of the day. His last shot of the whiskey. Waited for them to take full effect. And then he just admitted he needed a stronger denial-combo to understand the world of men.

Fill in the blank/tank

2009-12-25T15:19:00.002+03:30

Global War----

1) -ming
2) -ning
3) -ping
4) No further letters needed

Fact Check

2009-12-08T21:48:00.005+03:30

I know Ahmadinejad does but
hmmm...
20th Century really Fox?

Green Fuel

2009-11-03T11:56:00.005+03:30

While these useless summits are held around the planet,

Iran has become the only country in the world to go totally Green

& we are proud of it.

Reality

2009-09-27T21:26:00.002+03:30

To man, his world piece is more dear than the world peace...
Victoriously & proud of his wisdom, the monkey went down to take a piss.

The President is an Alian

2009-09-09T09:52:00.004+04:30

While angels were away playing,
and God peeking on the pretty angels
through the wholes in thick clouds of heaven,
back on the planet of bullet-logic,
more innocent angels were being sent to heaven.

God is an imperialist.
He sends people to earth,
and takes angels in return.

Bitter Butter

2009-08-25T18:04:00.003+04:30

Following the coup d'etat in Iran elections by AhmadiNejad(AN),
I suggest the following English noun marker changes from now on:
AN Monkey,
AN Stupid,
AN Psycho,
AN Liar,
AN Muderer,
AN Dictator.
Send us your suugested changes. We'll be back after the commercials...

Musicapone Rules Politics

2009-06-26T13:00:00.005+04:30

Music not only affects driving styles, it also has a great influence on politics;
Imagine there is an election in a country and everything is going well but the music playing for the man in power is "The show must go on" by Queen, "Live n Let die" by GNR or "Never care for what they say, never care for what they do..." by Metallica. Then as a politician who is singing along with such songs, even me picturing the scene will be tempted to stay in office a bit longer!!

According to unverified imaginary reports, 120% of all coup d'etats have happened when the person behind it had been under musical-influence. In these researches a meaningful corelation has been found between the number of such songs listened before the event and the imposed force to silence people or silence people through making them forget how to breathe.

Bad music advisors can aggrevate the situation by further wrong music suggestions. One week after such events when the dictator is considering a peaceful reconsilation, they usually provide him with songs like "Sorry seems to be the hardest word", "Said I loved you but I lied", "burn mother BEEPer burn"...

Some historians have also sited that when dictators are captured in the end and before they stand trial, they don't talk in defence but start singing instead. They refer to Hitler's last minutes as he had started singing "please forgive me, I know not what to do..." or Louis 16 of France who was humming the irrelevent song "good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere" song before he was executed. Napolean was singing in French and since there were no translators present, the exact chanson is still a mystery. Saddam also sang in his trial in arabic "it wasn't me, kill Music! he made me do all those things". (in Arabic it must rhym!)

People on the other hand have wider choises while responding to politicians and it mostly depends on their Winamp or itune playlists. But still most imaginary studies indicate people prefer to act instead of singing in such cases.

Driving-under-music-influence, is currently considered a crime in most countries but Ruling-under-music-influence is still an unsolved delicate matter in hand. Should politician be music-banned? Or should CD stroes check occupation before providing people with Music Albums?

Deal d'eau

2009-05-13T12:47:00.004+04:30

The monkey changed a few channels with the remote.

It is time for God to send in a new prophet he thought.
People are no longer tempted by the already-made promised paradise.
A female prophet posing like these diet adverts with a meter around here belly
with natural lovlies might somewhat revive the fading away faith once more,
promising in natural bigs for women and centimeters for men.
Pl@yboy mansions for prayers everyday can work.

Then he double-took his blue pills and signed out of ponderland.

Lonely happy nappy naggy irony

2009-02-17T13:35:00.004+03:30

I go out alone
eat alone,
go to the cinema alone
& even sleep alone at night.
Guess I have become a grown-up again.

2009 Shoe Beggars

2009-01-02T10:30:00.002+03:30

With the various beggar trends behind red lights,
there'll be new ones who'll just swear at you till the next green light.
Just through your shoes at them.

One last appeal

2008-12-21T18:03:00.006+03:30

There are pills, alcoholic drinks, meditation
and a whole bunch of forgetting mechanisms.

There are mes who think
the reason we are here is remembering
and not reproduction.

There is also a place called mental hospital.

Global Village

2008-12-01T13:29:00.002+03:30

With American economy in crisis,
Heaven & Hell CEOs have asked God for a bail out.

Cinderella Inc

2008-11-26T09:38:00.006+03:30

The after 24 o' clocks are for all with a
"No enterance zone" to pass.
A one way street,
a parking spot for the disabled
or the reluctant-to-talk-during-work colleague's house.

Je suis le meme que t'a connu

2008-10-17T11:36:00.001+03:30

Be it with God, parents, friends, GF, BF & even their dogs.
Someone has to tell them for sure
the yesterday's kids, today's youngsters & tomorrow's adults,
the were, are & will be children-minded,
that keeping any relationship going is a span ranging from
actually being tricked & pretending to be tricked.

Swinging Voters

2008-09-27T08:34:00.003+03:30

Financial crisis,
more work hours for parents,
more time for teenagers to make love at home.
Youngsters for the candidate who will worsen the situation?

Turn your lights on

2008-08-17T15:47:00.003+04:30

My replica is a moon-girl.
Multilingual, educated, understanding & ... on her side visible.
Her moto; "I am not looking for happiness in life
I am looking for pleasure."
Overdrinks, over-smokes, over-trusts guys who play by the rules,
on her dark side.
If I was her Armstrong,
printing my foot-shape landing from my shuttle,
I would have introduced Edisson to her invisible side.
Alas, I studied the wrong subject in Uni.

What God Wants God Gets

2008-06-19T12:54:00.003+04:30

We created condoms,
He created power-hunger & religion.
We can't stop God!
This planet's got to vanish, drained off energy & life.
The more people, the faster we'll reach.
Viagra your shuttles towards God's promised no-land-any-more.

Feather Light Newtonism

2008-06-02T20:08:00.003+04:30

Gravity is the real problem on this planet.
Imagine the force needed for someone to FALL in love on Moon
& once done, the amount of energy needed to Fall out of Love.
Fuel my spaceship. I am outta here.

P.S: To leave a footprint on Moon you gotta be the weight of an elephant

I Rule If You Follow

2008-04-07T19:13:00.000+04:30

Always learn from history
To be sure you make the same mistakes again
Dig with bare hands or a silver spoon
But never change the masterplan.

Excavation Terminated

2008-04-04T19:43:00.005+04:30

I have searched as deep as I could go.
Wanted to put my name down beside Colombus as an explorer.
& in the end I can declare that there is nothing down deep in my heart
nor my charecter nor anywhere else in me!
Stop trying to explore deep layers in people!
We are all SHELLS! Will you quit digging??

Sugar-free

2008-03-29T15:44:00.002+04:30

My all-time favorite sci-fi phenomenon
is undoubtedly; "Human Rights".
---
+ What will ya do ta ppl who wanna hurt me pa?
- I'll kill 'em all.
---
As the next president, I swear to
reproduce human rights by eradicating those against it.
---
Kill to live or live to kill, that's the problem.
---
+ what's your favorite joke besides Politics & UN?
- Human Rights!
---
Conclusion: There is no death worse than drowning & burning in logical thinking.

Not That Special, You See

2007-12-21T00:43:00.000+03:30

I Love Ferrari.
I Love Spaghetti.
I Love You.
There are 32 different words in Eskimo Language for Love in diff occasions,
but I can easily compare Ferarri, Spaghetti & U with the same 4 letters in English.
It's a miracle.

Myst of Undelivered Words

2007-11-29T19:52:00.000+03:30

The child was begging his father for a chocolate bar in the last 30 minutes.
Finally her father made his way to the news stand,
paid for the paper in his hand & asked for Cigarettes for change.

Error

2007-11-06T06:56:00.000+03:30

She called me everyday and asked for forgiveness.
& when I finally forgave her,
She never called back again.

Talk to me

2007-10-23T18:29:00.002+03:30

I know Persian, English & French.
But non have improved my life.
Now I am looking for a Feminin-Language tutor.

Scars Concealed

2007-10-12T12:15:00.000+03:30

Run rabbit, rabbit run. Burry your surrows deep & keep them for a rainy day. Keep the phrases in mind parrots of the carribean. You will have a lot to retell. For the vampire-ized monkey's too busy searching for forms of life in nukes of the universe tonight. I foresee the day in a near tomorrow an alian robot will land to navigate & search for forms of life on a rock called Earth. What the hell! What suit shall I wear for our mutual funeral?

Sinking To Oblivion

2007-09-16T17:29:00.000+03:30

Happy birthday humanity dear
You could have been 2007 years old by now.
---
He used to ponder.
Used to…
Or perhaps was "used by" ponder…
He can’t tolerate his own brain waves under lethal cocktails of painkillers & whiskey no more.
The new mind-free alcoholic show on 2100 sharps seems to be carving their message at last besides their disillusioning effect.
Obliviousness is the foolproof method towards happiness, he can read.
While thinkers hurt their brain cells & torture their youth, thinking yet to no avail, the majority, after a successful day of money-raking take their daily prey to bed
& wake up the next, searching for another & the next generation is formed by who mes amis? Nous ou ils???
Then the monkey unplugged his senses & dosed off, lost in hollow dreams & his fatal future of unavoidable pondering tomorrows.

Matched The Mismatched

2007-08-23T17:22:00.000+03:30

Tears have solved no man’s problems.
In the game of love, the strong survive.
A man has to constantly be on the hunt & laugh "surrender" off & wait till he becomes the pray for a pray who luckilyhas not yet hunted a hunter.

Alas!

I can’t yet figure out though

who has put me in the "Endangered Hunter Species" list
& my counterpart among the "Anti-Hunter-Hunting Prays".

Coallition Forces Invade Genetics

2007-08-10T10:17:00.000+03:30

When you are born a monkey,
you are entitled to choose your own path in each & every detail
but the general aspect of your life always remains the same;
you are & will always be a monkey.
Genetics is the real WMD perhaps.

The Monkey's High Again

2007-07-31T19:20:00.001+03:30

The attractive, the bland & the ugly,
the three visual categories we define.
But even the wisest monkey won't categorise
himself in either & will constantly try to climb up
to the first group. Perhaps the sheer beauty of life is that
by avoiding analysis you sometimes create a stronger logic.

When arms were upper limbs...

2007-07-23T20:31:00.000+03:30

The call to run towards arms was never true.
A new version of rabbit running towards the snake's carrot-painted fangs
or maybe votes ruinning towards the idiots running for the running-us role.
& yet we still stand in every single line, to do what we are told.
Well-trained children, aren't we?

Tic Tac Death, Tic Tac Death

2007-07-09T09:32:00.000+03:30

Time is just an excuse for god
to justify one's death.

Obliged To Divulge...

2007-06-24T18:19:00.000+03:30

Life is not as hard as some make it seem.
The main topics are very clear;

Woman wants man,
Man tries to stay bachelor,
Woman gets man,
Woman gets baby,
Man dies
& They happily live ever after.

---

Men are the known victims of this beyond Shakespeare tragedy called life but still they play along & get along with their unfortunate role. But why is that so? Are men nut-heads or something?

Men as the more emotional gender of the two, do try to maintain their individuality as long as possible but it comes a time in each man's life when he feels lonely. Father Loneliness is the big boss behind this unavoidable plot. When men grow tired of being with their male friends or are left with no still-single friends, they sit thinking one day in the tub or maybe one night in bed, that they need someone to be there when they come home, someone whom even with her constant naggings, they know would be there for them when they need help and more than any other reason perhaps, someone whom they can offer their masculine love to. That is when all half-wit guys decide to wear THE RING & no matter WHEN that day comes, when it comes a guy chooses one of the possible companions in range & present in his life on that special day.

---

Footnote 1: In order to avoid shocks, buy calenders to check if your "D-Day" is listed.

Footnote 2: Girls, if you like or most probably love a guy, make sure you'ld be there when his "D-Day" comes!

Footnote 3: There is no such thing as a wise guy as a naive girl is also a myth.

Be Sweet, Do Not Sweat

2007-06-12T17:45:00.000+03:30

You'll be rewarded if you do a good job?

That surely is a myth. Rewards go only to the ones who know the way to present their charm & empathy to the boss or just to cut the euphemism, flatter the big guy better! Flattery gets you nowhere is a total misleading sign on the road my friend. There actually is nowhere where flattery can't take you. It is more like the whole world is a big apple, we are only living to polish!

Axe, Nivea, Adidas...

2007-05-28T14:49:00.000+03:30

I doubt that the feared element
about hell is its extraordinary untolerable heat.
It must only be the excessive continious
sweat-smell of the people there, that kills.

Imagine there was no Time-Limit

2007-05-20T18:47:00.000+03:30

The judge did not even look up at the monkey when he read his sentence. 19 months of home-work detention for the moneky in Donkeyland.
The monkey packed his stuff, leafed through the calender & found his release date, marked it and wrote in red, if I shall live to see this day, I shall comit suicide. For the monkey I will be then, is a lonely soul with no firends, no past & no future who will no longer know how to speak in Monkeyish nor Donkeyish.
The calender was closed, hopes drained & another soul gone to waste.
---
Setting your computer's date to two years later now might just be 2 clicks away
but knowing your life will be wasted & you must tolerate every torturing
moment of an imprisonment-like period for two years with no
improvements in your knowledge, bank account,... is way too much!

The space-suit feeling

2007-05-08T20:03:00.000+03:30

It sometimes comes to me that death itself can be a more distant form of participation in the continuing history of the world. A simultanous presence and absence while the presidents take the same shameful decisions & friends go on giggling over someone who is no longer you. For a period in the space of time I can imagine what it will be like to be a ghost and walk forever through a silence deeper than silence, to apprehend but never quite reach the lights of home.

Surpassing an ass-burn

2007-04-29T19:48:00.000+03:30

What is it with this world??

Almost always, in a fire,

the ones who try to act like water,

end up as ash, blown away by the fire-stimulators!!!

The Infallible Hand In Glove Ploy

2007-04-26T19:32:00.000+03:30

The monkey had been outstandingly obediant.
He had fullfilled each and every task he had been told.
Woken up to the greetings of his grand radio set, brushed his teeth with the newly-widely-advertised tootbrush & toothpaste, he was searching T.V channels to find a problem he could solve & practice his math with.
And then the T.V sang;

- $100 million it is, the estimated amount that Gap, Apple & Motorolla have spent on marketing the RED campaign, launched a year ago to benefit the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, tuberculosis & Malaria.

- $18 million, amount the RED campaign has raised worldwide.

Calculate who has really benefitted.

The monkey's eyes rolled over for a while, then in a gorgeous immitation of normality, he put his pencil down, pretended he had to pee and quietly left the room.
---

The Beauty of Execution

2007-04-15T09:37:00.000+03:30

What I don't get about executions is the presence of a doctor
& the physical examinations before the act is performed!
I mean hey there are only two possible conditions:

1. Normal Heart rate; the convict does not fear the process

2. Ferrari-paced heart rate; the convict might wet the floor soon.

& then in the end they kill the guy anyway when it is declared he is perfectly healthy!

---

Yet again, there seems to be some sort of misunderstanding-the-doctor situation.
First of all, the healthy are legitimate to be killed while the sick are sometimes excused!
Secondly, the young are no-doubters on the line while the old might be forgiven!
Thirdly, when the doctor declares someone sane, he is a gonner while if insane can shake off the sentence!

---

What is all the CPR, Emergency detoxication & saving-life-efforts for
when a death-sentenced convict commits suicide???

Ineluctable Obduracy

2007-04-06T21:35:00.000+03:30

The beauty of wearing glasses is that you can choose, limit or extend your visual field & visual power at will.

Now my eyes swim behind the oval lenses of my new see-through glasses instead of my old ones which had frosted glasses through which strangers could only be seen but not identified.

The difference now, is that I can identify people well enough if necessary but have deliberately chosen not to see them at all.

Tree How n' Dread

2007-03-30T12:51:00.001+03:30

297, 298, 299, ,301, 302, 303

Genie!! I want a fourth wish dude!!

2007-03-14T19:04:00.000+03:30

There are moments in your life when you literally
feel the hidden pain in lonliness deep in your bones.
You stay up the whole night, crying and praying for the lonliness to end.
Then the next morning you find your wish granted
and yourself among people who are speaking in a language
you don't speak nor understand & they are not speaking to you either.
Then you feel a deeper pain, wishing for the lonliness to return
and heal your now deeper wound.
I wish for lonliness to take me in his warm arms
and set me free from this place I feel alienated.
If your father is Mr. Lonliness shouldn't you also be a Mr. Lonliness?????

Installements of the uninstalled...

2007-03-07T21:09:00.000+03:30

There is a period, God's presence is not strongly felt!
I wonder which company has expelled him lately.
Airbus? Ford? GM??

---

Let's talk Jack,
Here are the sizzling nondescript topics of the day;
Financial growth, cutting jobs, Casinos, strip clubs, illegal immigration & war.
The choice is all yours dude. ALL YOURS!!

Nightmare Plus (version 13.13)

2007-02-23T08:49:00.000+03:30

Exile, is what I get at this age.
Behind, is where I have to leave all I have achieved.
My castles are burnt to ground,
my Waterloo has been forced upon me &
now Napoleon is among the few feeling my loss.
Farewell, civilised world.

Physics of Mentality in a Mental Planet

2007-02-09T10:46:00.000+03:30

There are loads of triggers & stimulations
that continously & simultanously bug my patience.
But I suspect my recent impatience is in no way
in connection with them but somehow related to
my "patience contraction" due to the freezing winter days.
There must be a relationship, musn't it??

The Mystic Streets of Worldville

2007-01-26T11:25:00.000+03:30

The streets, these days, have a thick STD aroma,

& all that you hear, aside from the hunking horns

is the moaning theme of unfaithful pregnant moms

who are working late, just to be able to buy

the next piece of jewellery they've seen,

as the chopper in the air or the TV screens perhaps

voice out their concern about the not so scarey HIV.

There are worse ways to die, some voices call.

It's litterally, a f*cking miracle.

Unquestioned Answers

2007-01-12T07:18:00.000+03:30

Don't be shy to admit it,
I feel just as sad for you, my friend.
Can't you see? you are making the same sad mistake.
Passing your precious time with others & me,
rather than spending some of such
irretrievable minutes just with yourself.
You, yourself & the gentle symphoney of tic-tac.

A 5 Star Confession

2007-01-08T10:05:00.000+03:30

1. The One should be defined as an educated girl who knows
English perfectly alongside French
& be from an acceptable family class.
Not to mention not being too short &
not so challenging & looking for a two-person lead.

2. My religion has no prophets without Roger Waters.
My life's so empty without decent music.

3. The newly defined religions are to be avoided
as they have become a source of division & pain.

4. Ain't boys lame when they boast about their manhood honours & girls when they try to attract guys with their girlish words & tricks?

5. Accept this victim's advice; Nobody's worth being valued
more than his/her worth.

Thanks to my good friend, the honorable Foulla for this tag.
I would like to pass it on to David, Maryam, Yabco & Jarvenpa.

6 a.m

2006-12-31T10:47:00.000+03:30

Guns are to bang
Swords are to clang
Ropes are to hang
Men are to die...

Fool Me Nice...

2006-12-27T15:28:00.000+03:30

The song plays,
my mind waves sail towards your shores.
My request is in a bottle,
summarized in a conditional type 1 phrase;
If you don't love me, lie to me.

Saving Private O2

2006-12-21T00:27:00.000+03:30

Well, there are just some days that stick in your mind with an eternal glue for ever! Last week I went to a military fort to regulate my admission in the city I currently live in. I was ready, cell by cell, to meet anyone & do my best to persuade them to accept me. So I marched through different sections in the unnecessarily enormous fort, room by room, taking tests & collecting all sorts of signatures. Proud of what I had achieved, I took my inch by inch signed recommendation paper to the person, in charge of sending it to the main base. Neatly shaved & dressed pretty manly in black formal pants & coat, I eneterd the room only to find a soldier inside. He stood up, we shook hands & he told me his boss would be back in a matter of minutes. So I sit there, open my magazine ostensibly to wade through it but really to give my presence an intellectual face! & then he enters, a plump man of about 1.65 m, with thin grayish hair & unshaved beard. I stood up politely & started to explain my case n' stuff & he passes me, gets to his desk, leaves his bag there & returns to the door & closes it.

Why did he do that for?? Disturbing noise perhaps, I convince myself & continue firing my words like a machine gun as he turns to face me. Even I, myself felt my words sounding like Blah Blah Blah at some point but decided to keep it up, nevertheless. I paused for a fraction of a second to glare at the soldier tapping on his desk in a disturbing rhythm & lifted my head back to face the I-Should-Buy-Him-A-Gillete guy. As I was speaking continously, he reaches for his belt & opens it & then unbuttons his pants. I am still speaking, with some shadows of question marks, font 10, appearing above my head! Well, he should be trying to fix things, a voice whispers in my head. Makes good sense to me! So I keep on speaking, then he zips down & opens his pants. Now I can definitely feel that the question marks have grown to a heavy font 40 & some exclamation marks are dancing in Tribal African style around them! but my voice covers for the inner incapaility to cope with the situation! A frail voice tries to convince me that this is just for tidying up his shirt while my brain applauds the thought & honors the voice with the Medal Of Self Deciet. But that didn even last a milisecond, as mr. Had-Me-In-A-Trap pulled down his pants without hesitation, breaking my last defensive line! As I witnessed his white, knee-long underwear, my voice gave in deliberately without asking for my permission! It was at that very instant that my brain started mumbling things about no one has turned gay with losing his virginity in the wrong way, so this is how military goes, I should offer him a rubber for my own safety & hell loads more, I was not even listening to. Then mr. Too-old-for-sexual-activity gently turned towards the hanger on his right & hung his pants. I could hear my brain singing "It's the final count down"! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6... & then he turned towards the hanger again only to pick his military green pants this time & cover things up... PHEWWW, SAFE AT LAST!! My brain momentarily started it's engine & my vocal cords began vibrating as if electricity had just returned to the factory! But before they warm up I noticed my feet had left the room trying to pull the rest of me out!!! Just as if they were starring in Saving Private Ass HOLE! Ass-saving completed! LITERALLY!

As my brain was showing signs of relief, it was to take another hit!
I had to meet mr. knee-long-underwears' boss next. I waited in the hall for about 5 mins till he got back & then asked for permission to enter. He gently invited me in. As I stepped inside, he closed the door behind me & said; just because you are a boy! & as I was speaking, he did the whole process in front of me as well!! (he had gray cowboy underwear-pants though!) "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE" was flashing in my eyes! but the difference was that this time my brain was strangely in tact & singing "I, am too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt..."!! Thanks god I had left my brains amplifier at home or else it would have caused me serious problems!! Anyways after the short preview of how things go in the military, I decided to get the hell out through the door I had come in, before someone closed it. Virginity in tact is sometimes worth much more than one can imagine!

Well it wasn't an entheralling experience but I sure hope I don't look as good-looking as girls think I am, in guys' eyes!!

Global Cooling

2006-12-18T11:42:00.000+03:30

Let the CO2 emissions rise!
Burn more forests & fossil fuel!
For I can feel a chill right to my bones.
My blankets are no longer able to keep me warm.

Melancholy

2006-12-15T08:42:00.000+03:30

There is a hole in my sole I run to, often
Booby trapped inch by inch for the unexpected visitors.
Even an anti-god-vision system's installed, to ensure total privacy.
For there are moments where the monkey needs to
think, regret & shed more than just a few tears.
Solitude, silence & total detachment...

Terminology

2006-12-03T16:06:00.000+03:30

Wisdom, Kingdom, Condom...

Constipated

2006-11-24T15:31:00.000+03:30

Yeah, holy politicians they call themselves!
Hey ,they might be categorised as holy alright,
but that'll be the holy sh*t subtype of course.

Brain Erection

2006-11-15T17:43:00.000+03:30

Who says men have two brains!?

Conundrum

2006-11-12T12:56:00.000+03:30

I used to be this shy & reserved guy who
didn't get much attention from the girls.
But then again everyone liked & respected the shy me,
while I hated myself.

Now I am self-confident & somewhat cocky.
I do get a lot of attention from the girls.
But not many like the self-confident me
while I am extremely satisfied with myself!

Promiscuous Life

2006-10-31T08:25:00.000+03:30

I am gonna let you in on a secret.
After his endless efforts,
'Life' has finally managed to make me pregnant as well!
---
How come 'Life' never stands trial for
his continuous raping cases?

Steps-ville feat. Elevator-man

2006-10-25T09:55:00.000+03:30

Hey dude how many times do I have to explain this?
I am not an American Indian &
my name is definitely not Your-Step-Towards-Success!
'SO BACK OFF & FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO CLIMB!!'

A Superfluous Confession

2006-10-21T08:41:00.000+03:30

Ok, as hard as it is, I have decided to come clean & admit it!
Us men are puny in comparison to the opposite sex.
I mean hey, I have never even shown an aptitude for this skill!
How can all women, in groups, talk & listen to all, simultanously?
Hmmm... GOD! even my medical knowledge fails me!
I guess I need a break!

Signed by an Ex-male-chauvinist

The Big Bang Theory

2006-10-15T10:32:00.000+03:30

- Can I invite you to dinner tomorrow?
- (a nod & a blush)

2+2=4.0000...0001

2006-10-04T16:22:00.000+03:30

Would you rather await the bullies in your own front yard
or pay a fortune to invite them all to the notorious-neighbor's yard
down the block for dealing with the lethal affairs elsewhere?
well, alright dear! You can still hold on to your Peace-&-Liberty placard!

Victor was a loser

2006-10-01T08:26:00.000+03:30

Have you ever been in a situation where,
a simple 'You are right' or 'I was wrong',
could lead to a happy ending?
Well, I haven't.
---
These three innocent words tend to backfire most often,
with the other person somewhat gaining more ground
& trying to push forward for an emphatic victory!
---
Advice: Unlike other products, only try the words at home & when totally alone!

Cameras also lie

2006-09-27T08:35:00.000+03:30

The last two punches in the monkey's stomach did the trick
He started naming the traitors in the order he could remember;
"Parents, Friends, Teachers, Politicians & the Clerics"
They had all taken part in forming what he was today,
without letting him learn & decide the rights & the wrongs in life.
How did they know what was RIGHT anyway? 'The Right Stuff' Textbook!?
He had never doubted their authority so much, until then.
---
You? huh! You-Who?
Look again in the mirror!
You are them...

A,B,C,D...

2006-09-23T08:41:00.000+03:30

You know what?

I am still undecided!

I can't seem to decide which one is more tragic;

9/11, Titanic or the first day of school... hmmm...

Enjoy The Silence

2006-09-22T08:58:00.000+03:30

It is easier to forgive,
when you get to understand,
all their bitter actions are aimed
at sexually ensuring human race's survival.
---
(& we are one of them.)

Safe Sex Syndicate

2006-09-19T11:40:00.000+03:30

"... this has become a two-horse race, John!
The Persian mule & the American elephant are in the lead!"
"& No sign of the chasing pack!
They are just one corner short of the finish line!
Who do you think will win this prestigious title, Bob?"
"This will be a close one!
Here they come folks!
HANG ON TO YOUR HORSES EVERYONE!
WOW!! A CHANGE OF COURSE PERHAPS!?
Shockingly rapid comes the Vatican amorphe from behind
& yes he's close, he passes them, & now,... JESUS CHRIST!!
He's done it! he has crossed the finish-line "
"Or perhaps Crossed the finish-line! Huh!
can you say this 5 times fast, Bob?
'Crossed the cross, crossed with a cross'!"
'Chuckles' "Thanks John!
He's come out clean, way ahead of the leading duo!
The Now Vaticanian is our surprise winner of the season!!"
"& with an amazing pace & in style as well,
setting a new world record!
UN-F*CKING-BELIEVABLE! "
"The F-WORD John!! Does your mom know!? 'a forced hahaha'
We'll have a special interview right after the commercials..."

'Stupid music tone plays as the commercials kick the air'
"Give anyone species too much rope & they'll f*ck it up folks!
Now our ropes come with a free pack of WHO approved
condoms for you & your child's safety, & tha'ts no 'safe tea'!" 'lame laughters'
"'Safe Sex Syndicate Ropes'
Disclaimer: Pay attention to the SSS hologram upon purchase."
...

The F-word Manual

2006-09-15T10:08:00.000+03:30

To insult someone greatly when you are totally pissed off,
use the F-word + you.

Caution: Do not apply the rule in cases where
your intended insult might act as a reward & the reply
might come as WHEN!

A GOD-gernade & a Sanity bullet-proof cloak

2006-09-08T15:38:00.000+03:30

This is an empty-handed arm robbery!
Put all the money in your vault in this bag.
Anybody moves & I curse you all to go to hell.

Your mamma's got you a 54-color-pencil pack?

2006-09-05T16:45:00.000+03:30

I will have to buy me a guide-dog, black shades
& a white convertible cane to match my color-blind cover.
Then with the cane I can Morse an SOS to
the unknown endoteressial creatures to get rid of
the ever-color-changing monsters on this planet.
---
Look buddy;
I like the black,
Don't mind the white,
In fact I don't resent the unicolor at all.
Yet tolerating the Zebras of rainbow stripes,
proves to be out of my powers dude.
Now will that make me a racist to some extent or what?

Nasdaq, Wallstreet & the unknown Cheeseburger

2006-09-01T09:15:00.000+03:30

Personality is the only double-priced product in the market.
A tag of your own estimation
& a tag of others judgement.

Well you can always choose to sell yourself
but the reason I never enter the market is due
to the threat of being sold unwillingly & undervalued.

1984+22

2006-08-29T16:11:00.000+03:30

War is peace.

The Most Notorious Earthly Criminals: Worlds - L

2006-08-18T02:06:00.000+03:30

"Tell me comrade; who's killed more through history?
WW II? Atomic Bomb in Hiroshima? Wallstreet perhaps with it's rolling numbers?", the war hero shed a tear on T.V.

The bored monkey left secretly towards the basement. It was time to kill the next member of the biggest murder-gang in the history of civilization. He took his eraser & tortured 'C' to death, just the way he had previously eliminated 'A' & 'B'. The world was now 3/26th safer.

In search for 'The Three'

2006-08-14T18:20:00.000+03:30

I had been told 'The one' was out there
But recently I have come to suspect;
She has either been kidnapped by Al Qaeda,
Frozen to death due to the long wait outside,
Eaten by the hungry wolf not able to eat the three little piglets
or while waiting outside, she met 'The Two'.

Ah I always hated math, that's why I studied medicine.

CellFishLess Alexithymic

2006-08-12T08:34:00.000+03:30

I am a quality self confident guy
who is sometimes branded cocky & over confident.
Consider myself sociable & an easy friend-maker.
Got me the standard selfishness in life
but when it comes to keeping the girls I like I lose the selfishness.
It is truly silly yet hopeless. If the person is quality
I feel not deserving & somehwat seize the approach
& if she is below par then after a time I lose interest!
I think I am doomed to an eternal celibacy!

God, Virgin Mary & now Dr O2.

PG 18.16 - When the Owls are out hunting

2006-08-07T11:38:00.000+03:30

There are 4 night-time activity themes:

1. Positive: Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh yeah
2. Negative: Oh no, Oh no, Oh no
3. Religous: Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god
4. Fake: Dr, Dr, Dr...

Warning: Do not try this at home.

Astrological Discovery

2006-08-05T08:17:00.000+03:30

Attention please.
According to our reliable sources,
This blog has completed it's first Revolution around the sun.

Signed at 1/1/0002 S.H.O.P

Tom & Jerry never found love!

2006-08-03T06:38:00.000+03:30

All cats & mice are male
or perhaps females with severe hormonal imbalance.

Send me an angel

2006-07-30T10:50:00.000+03:30

God must be a corrupted bastard.
For years I have looked towards the sky
awaiting for an angel to take me away.
Then at GMT+2 a metal angel with it's precision guided arrow
takes a 1-day-old girl away. It's a miracle. A fuckin' miracle...

Smooth Criminal

2006-07-20T09:25:00.000+03:30

Since the introduction of Gillette,
break-up & divorce rates have trippled!
Gillette; the best a man can get.

Sleep-Inhibiting Beds

2006-07-16T20:23:00.000+03:30

There are big things you learn by hearing small sounds.
e.g: A bed upstairs, singing at 2 a.m

Sensory-Moral Hearing Loss

2006-07-12T10:20:00.000+03:30

Her: "Doctor I need hearing aid asap!"
Me: "What is wrong ma'am? Since when have you noticed a hearing loss?"
Her: "Since last night!"
Me: "Oh your husband called you and ..."
Her: "NOOOOE!!! I couldn't hear the couple next door clearly at all!"
Not Me!!:
It was at this very point that me, my medical books, the hospital staff & I've heard even God, all suddenly feeling frail, flimsy, incapacitated, enervated, feeble... or perhaps too minimal to react, filed in for hearing aids!! ---
Types Of Hearing Loss footnote:
There are three major types of hearing loss: neural/sensorineural, conductive, or a combination of both. Treatment depends upon the type of hearing loss that is present.

1. Sensorineural: Sensorineural hearing loss is caused by damage/malfunction of the inner ear (cochlea, eighth cranial nerve) or auditory brainstem. This can be divided further into a sensory hearing loss (inner ear) or a neural hearing loss (brainstem).
2. Conductive: Conductive hearing loss is caused by damage/malfunction of the middle or outer ear system (external ear canal, ear drum, or structures in the middle ear space including the malleus, incus and stapes bones).
3. Combination: Mixed hearing loss is caused by both conductive and sensorineural causes.

Delerium, hallucination & whiskey

2006-07-08T18:41:00.000+03:30

Tears have blurred my vision
This book has had me fooled.
I am way into delirium.
Daytime sedation & nocturnal agitation haunt me.
I hear words & illusions never leave me.

A guy in his unifrom whispers in my ear;
"Abe was not a fool but fought for a useless cause.
For as long as this planet dances, there will always be a South.
He only managed to change the Entry-words in dictionaries
they printed, while the definitions are still untouched."

"What's your collars color?" someone in the distance shouts.

Another bottle of whiskey perhaps will enlighten me.
I have to get rid of this visual-auditory hallucination
before it's too late...

From Brain Waves to Pubic Tingles

2006-07-05T11:13:00.000+03:30

We are both people of note with hearts of gold.
Your heart is in the northern hemisphere & mine in the southern.
When your heart is summer-hot, my heart's among the snowmen
When my heart's sizzling, yours is in hibernation.
Why is it so hard for both of us to live around the equator?

Shortest Long Ambivalence

2006-07-03T11:27:00.000+03:30

- Hello
- Hell-O